Sunday 9 October 2011

back to Sills Bend...?

Hello, it's been a while. Nearly six months, actually. Lenny is nearly six months old - most of it's been a blur for me, which to be honest is a good thing in a lot of ways. It hasn't been a walk in the park (although I've done my share of park-walking, like all new mothers).

I don't think it was entirely a matter of chance that I broke off writing about my life just at the point when I was going to have to write about having my stomach cut open and my life turned upside down and vigorously shaken. The cut has completely healed now but I still lie in bed almost every night and have a moment of complete horror at the thought of having that big hole in the middle of my body. It's only a moment, however, and who knows - maybe one intense but brief immersion each night just before falling asleep is not such an awful way of working through something that scares you.

It's never too late to mend.

Speaking of things it's never too late for, I have had a number of extremely kind and supportive emails, at different moments of crisis, from people I only know via the internet. I didn't manage to answer most of these, but believe me, they've helped a lot - both in terms of practical suggestions offered and as gestures of solidarity and recognition that other people have been through the hard moments, and survived them.

I also had an email not long ago from a person who's been a friend of this blog for years and who said that even though the blog now appeared to be over, it had been good to read. That was terrific to receive, so thank you for bothering to write and send it. I don't know whether the blog is finished or not. I suspect not? We'll see.